Perfect

Being a perfectionist is hard work.

Mix that in with a little obsessive compulsiveness and control issues, makes for a pretty unattractive 5 o'clock meltdown!

I think that's why being a mom, for me, often feels like I'm climbing mount Kilimanjaro....no...sprinting up mount Kilimanjaro!

I think this need to achieve “perfection” leads to a lot of misconstrued expectations of myself.

I know that, rationally speaking, being the “perfect” parent or raising the “perfect” child is impossible, yet the guilt of not living up to the unachievable standards I set for myself eats away at my confidence one tantrum at a time.

My sister once gave me pamphlet called “Facing Your Abuser”. She meant facing “me” the abuser to myself. It made me laugh at first, but when I started reading the pamphlet it really hit me smack in the face.

I think a lot of us, parents or not, hold the bar way to high for ourselves. We beat ourselves up for not achieving certain things that in reality are unattainable or unrealistic. We don't expect that of others (well, at least I don't) so why do we expect it of ourselves?

My kids and I in a not so perfect, perfect moment. Photo by Gwen Aucoin www.gwenaucoin.com

Type A personality. Also known as over-achiever or anal.

I'm that woman who's scrubbing the toilets before the cleaning lady comes.

After my husband is finished “cleaning” the kitchen, I'm right there behind him for the next 30 minutes making sure every little thing is wiped and put away just the way I like it.

It's stronger then me.

Thankfully, one particular book I read after having my second child really helped to put things in perspective for me. The book is called I Was Really a Good Mom Before I Had Kids by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. The book is about accepting the mother that you are and realizing that “perfect” is like the Loch Ness Monster...it doesn't exist people.

I'm learning though. One step at a time I'm figuring out how to honor where I am now and not where I think I “should” be.

It's a day to day battle.

Wine helps:-)

If you're interested in buying the book you can click on the link below to find it.

http://www.amazon.com/Was-Really-Good-Before-Kids/dp/081185650X