Thursday, March 3, 2011

An Ounce of Charlie Sheen

So Tuesday I'm on my couch, it's 8:45 p.m and I'm contemplating going to bed since I knew in about 4 hours I'd be hearing those tiny footsteps coming down the stairs and then the whisper in my ear, ''Mommy, can you come sleep with me please?'' Which I would indulge and spend the next 4 hours with cold feet kicking me in the back. Fantastic.

But, as I'm about to turn off the TV, the 20/20 intro music starts and Elizabeth Vargas shoots me a look like, “You better sit your ass back down on the couch cause what you're about to witness is going to f&*#ing blow your socks off!”

So I sat and watched.

I watched much like I watch shows like TLC's Hoarders or Toddlers and Tiaras: peering from under my blanket since I can't decide if I really want to watch this insane debauchery or throw my bowl of ice cream at the TV screen.

I have to say, watching Charlie Sheen chain smoke, sip his pink drink (which I'm assuming was not cool aid) and rant incoherently for an hour was probably the most entertaining thing I've watched on TV since VH1's Flavor Of Love.

(Yes, I am a TV whore!)

I want to point out that I do realize that this was probably not entertaining to his friends and family. But for me, this kind of “entertaining” isn't the “hey let's see how fast we can drink all these beers without puking" type of "entertaining".

I am just totally baffled by the human mind and the fact that we are all just one 7 day crack binge away from totally losing touch with reality.

Personally, I have been too close for comfort to this metaphoric crack binge. After 2 months with no sleep, no booze and a screaming alien like creature hanging from by boobs constantly, I could have undeniably convinced myself that I was a “total bitchin' rock star from Mars!”

Although, I am still not completely convinced that this performance wasn’t just that...a performance. After all, the man is a bitchin' actor!

Whatever the cause or intention of this bizarre, erratic behavior, I would personally like to thank Charlie Sheen for gracing us with “the Charlie Sheen drug”, “Adonis DNA”, “ droopy eyed armless children” and last but not least, “tiger blood”.

Thank you for bestowing upon us a plethora of content for us ''human folk's” facebook status updates, twitter feeds, blogs and comedic acts!


  1. i missed all this as we had a REAL LIFE mental case on our hands this week. sad. scary. very upsetting! even when you're mad, it's still so, so sad to watch.

  2. Sorry to hear that Aly. Hope everything turns out for the best:-)

  3. thanks suga! all is well, again, in our world.

  4. and...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your weekly blog. you are really good and i love reading!!!